Black It Out vII

"She's expecting, I can't pretend nothing's
going on" he said just before the dial tone.

"What did you expect, hon?
No man wants to sleep alone."

"You're half a continent apart.
Buck up, settle down,
don't give away your heart."

Suspicion could've been my savior,
But I didn't think and I didn't ask.
Like Hallmark and a dozen roses,
would've given the asshole a pass.

Tear up pictures, curse the cheater's name,
but a vindictive bonfire doesn't kill the pain.

Infidelity can leave a sour taste,
your efforts seem a bitter waste.
Each thrust twists and equally hurts.
Indifference doesn't help the thirst.
How can love be so damn addictive,
when it's consistently destructive?

"You're not pretty, touching you makes
me want to vomit. Your soul's beautiful,
but your skin, I just can't stomach it."

"What did you expect, hon?
At least he was honest."

He buys you a ring, you think 
that heaven exists in the ask.
But when he recants, reality
knocks you flat on your ass.

Caution could've, would've been my savior,
But I didn't waver and I never thought to run.
Like the confessional, matter-of-fact inflection 
made him less deserving of a wounded tongue.

Spit more venom, resent a superficial voice,
but bitter diatribes don't mitigate the noise.

Because it's drained reserves away,
distorting sound to a jackass's bray.
Superficiality warps this reflection ugly.
Thoughts of revenge paints skin guilty.

Why's love so damn consistently exhausting?
One day it sucks, the next it's exhilarating.

"He found another, thought himself a juggler,
then he decided you were the less colorful ball.
I'm so sorry that it was you he decided to drop,
because, frankly, she has no personality at all. "

Break mementos, curse another lover's stray,
but lashing out only seems to tighten the chain.

I'd rather just black it all out.
Like it never even happened, 
like I don't know what it was about.

Don't read me wrong as I think back.
I don't believe that love isn't worth it.
I'm not saying there's no hope in store.
Some splinters are difficult to extract,
but I'm determined to quit keeping score.

I'll be able to breathe easier.
Ill be a better team member.
I'll be a better peace keeper.
I'll better fulfill my responsibility;
Love without rancor and hostility.

Forgive and forget, right?