Crossed Fingers

The light became brighter
Then dark became stronger
We sat together that day in your car
I still regret not holding you longer

I've got my baggage, you've got yours
Revelation's come but I remain unsure
There's just too much static on this side
I need your music like a
hitchhiker thumbs a ride

And we spent hours driving around
To inconsequential locations; it's a
day I can't help but consider special
I convinced myself it meant more
than it justifiably should

But I was with you
You're not inconsequential

Minutes tick, and even more hours pass
I swear I didn't intend to get so attached
Failure shocked me like a shrapnel blast

Elation can dissipate too damn fast
Oh, patience can you help me relax?
Can you make this last? This dream
is all I've got so don't leave me now
For every inch you see is scratched

I cross my fingers, I tense inside
I take my pills, the picture slides
All I hear is what's twisting through
Everything that I associate with you
And every word of familiar songs
exacerbates the right I wronged

Peace's replaced by regret, uncertainty
I've tried to shake you loose from me

Honestly...

Weeks tock, and even more months pass
You stated it was mutual when I finally asked
But the past scarred you like a shrapnel blast

So retreat to your corner, embrace silence
More often than not, I'm stuck on reliance
To the hope I managed to dredge up since
I'm here indefinitely with fingers crossed
I'm too damn stubborn to accept the loss

Storm clouds gather
The sunshine departs
I still can't bring myself to extract my heart

I curl my fingers, I heed the call
I hoard my pills, the picture falls
All I hear is what's twining through
Everything that I associate with you
And every lyric of familiar songs
intensifies just how much I long

Oh, patience can you help me relax?
Can you make this last? This dream
is all I've got so don't leave me now
For every inch you see is scratched

Truth be told, I don't want to stay this empty and cold